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Review: Harley Quinn #12

harleyWhat has a couple superheroines (well, sorta super) trapped in space with a giant slice of pizza and an oddly familiar cosmic entity bearing two handfuls of all-powerful rings?? Well, Harley Quinn #12 of course!!


This month, Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti bring us another mind-blowingly insane installment of “Harley Quinn”, this time regular artist Chad Hardin is penciling the moments taking place on planet Earth and John Timms provides the art to the intergalactic story in between.


Yeah, you read that right…intergalactic. This issue picks up where #11 left off, Harley teaming up with Power Girl for some pseudo-superheroics. At the opening, they find themselves face to face in front of Mick’s Sporting Goods store with the Sportsmaster and that classically punctual rogue, The Clock King.


Unfortunately for our ladies, Clock King has come armed to the fight with a Teleportation Ring that he’s seemingly been using for decades to rid the world of such evils as 8-track and Betamax tapes. Yes, these are both referenced in the story.


Once transported by the Clock King, these objects NEVER return and now he’s sent Power Girl and Harley Quinn to this place that time forgot. And that place is another planet inhabited by a purple alien race featuring a quadruple-breasted queen named Eidijamon, a giant doggy king and an accountant from Astoria (who also happens to be the Queen’s lover).


When the Accountant attempts to identify Harley Quinn as something other than a “superhero”, she deals him swift justice in the form of an alien blaster that leaves him nothing more than a few bones still chained to his desk. Seeing her lover destroyed, the Queen calls for the heads of Power Girl and Harley. The ladies quickly flee the scene with the aliens in hot pursuit. Then it dawns on Power Girl that she’s invulnerable to energy forces or in this case, blaster fire (important to know). As Power Girl deals her own brand of fisticuffs to the aliens, the Doggy King (who we discover is named Arthur) realizes they are at an impasse and attempts to peacefully resolve the situation which doesn’t sit too well with our Queen. This leads to a marital spat that results in Arthur simply eating Eidijamon.


Arthur informs them that they are stuck in this faraway place…unless they can recover one of the teleportation rings from a cosmic being known as Manos, Ruler of the Infinity Rings. Sound familiar, anyone? Well, that’s the point. Oh, and Manos has 45 children who all hate him and they live on floating rocks. Arthur agrees to provide Power Girl and Harley with a map and a spaceship if they promise to send the occasional bacon cheeseburger his way once they get the teleportation ring. Deal!!


So, off our heroes go to find Manos. The first cosmic being they must get through to reach Manos appears to them in the form of a GIANT slice o’ pizza. Power Girl tries to lay the beatdown on this delicious demigod to no avail. Meanwhile, Harley discovers a laser cannon that quickly dispatches of the pizza problem.


The next obstacle is Max, a blue humanoid, who informs the ladies that Manos is otherwise occupied doing “something spectacular”. And we are then introduced to Manos, looking every bit the cosmic ruler you might expect calling for his “Cosmic Organ”!! Yes, it made Harley laugh too. But the laughter ends when tickling these ivories results in the complete ANNIHILATION of the planet Regal-4. It’s a death organ!!


When Power Girl finally approaches Manos with a request of teleportation, he agrees to provide them transport if they can recover his “Cosmic Cubicle” from the planet Elder-7. Having seen the casual destruction of an entire planet, Power Girl is in anything but the mood to negotiate. Her refusal to cooperate leaves Manos infuriated and insists that his children kill her immediately. But they hate him, remember?? So they really couldn’t care less about his demands.


Where is Harley in all this? Oh, just busy stealing all the Infinity Rings that she uses to wield the power of a god, which she uses to completely obliterate Manos. That’s Harley’s third kill in this issue for those of you keeping score (Accountant, Pizza and Manos).


Well, it turns out the heirs to the throne of Manos are actually pretty cool. They agree to send Power Girl and Harley home provided the rings are returned to them. Second Deal!!


Power Girl and Harley then return to planet Earth where they find a dumbfounded Sportsmaster and Clock King who’ve never seen anyone or anything return through Clock King’s teleportation ring. In their state of panic, they quickly send the ladies back through the ring yet again!!


When they reemerge this time though, two weeks have passed and now Power Girl is wearing a wedding gown having narrowly escaped the ceremony to someone named “Vartox” and an armor-clad Harley Quinn is carrying three purple three-eyed attack kittens!!


What happened in those two weeks?? And what will this mean for our superheroines?? Yeah, I called Harley a superhero. You saw what happened to that accountant!! Find out next month after that superhero cliffhanger!!


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